I Kissed Dating Hello... a Manly Man's Guide to Godly Dating

the dating devo for all those who expressed an interest... here it comes:

So you see this really cute girl sitting across from you in class. You know she's a Christian, she's super-nice, and you just caught her smiling at you (at least you're pretty sure it was at you). You think, "God, I'd like to go out with that girl!"
What would you do if you heard God reply, "Yeah, I know. Why don't you go talk to her?"
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

Let's assume most of us here don't want to be priests or bachelors all our lives. And, for the sake of argument, let's also assume that we want to follow God's will for our lives, including our relationships. Fortunately, a godly man is a manly man, a man who is commanded to love. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 13 (the famous love chapter), Paul immediately follows up the characteristics of love by saying:
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."
Paul is relating loving the way God does to being a manly man!
Now that we know that we can, how do we go about it? What is involved?

#1... everybody's favourite... ATTRACTION.
It's physical, emotional and spiritual.
- you have power over who you allow yourself to be attracted to
- you can choose
- that's an especially good thing when you're married
First & foremost... don't be unequally yoked. Deueronomy 22:10 says:
"Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together."
Now how to apply that?
Well that's easy! I don't even own a plow, an ox, or a donkey! No problem!
*This applies to relationships and dating*
Consider yourself as a manly man ox... if you have work to do for God, and are focused on it, and are teamed up with an awesome female ox (or "fox" for short), the work gets done better, and the focus is on God for both of you. If you get teamed up with a female donkey, however, she hinders your work, the focus slips, and you both end up looking like asses.
That being said, infatuation is a gift from God! YUP, IT'S A GOOD THING!
- it brings about in intense subjectivity to a relationship so you discover everything there is to know about the other person, good and bad
- when it ends (as it will and must and that's OK!), objectivity returns
- that's when you can make the choice, is this someone I can love and be committed to?
- then love can grow... and when it does, it gets better, yes, better than infatuation!

#2... EXPLORATION
- start thinking about "can I see myself spending the rest of my life with this person?" (without the pressure of "I have to")
- know what you're looking for
- if that's primarily physical attributes, guess what? That's SHALLOW!
*Here's a big thing... don't act like you're committed to her when you're in the exploration phase... especially not physically
- treat her as you'd want someone else to treat your wife
*Another thing... we get way too uptight
- going out for coffee with a girl and learning more about her isn't giving your heart away! It's building a relationship and that's both good and necessary (not the coffee, the relationship)

Now, what we all want to know... how do I find the right person?
1.Pray - 'nuff said
2.Live - be a whole person in God (2 whole people become 1, not 2 halves)
- keep doing what God has told you to do
3.Look - if you're interested in someone, act like it, present a little interest, keep your boundaries intact, but explore
- love is a risk, but it's worth it. So TAKE THE RISK!

The wrong person...
- obviously a non-Christian
- if she's called to something, and you're called to something or somewhere different, that's a big clue it's not a match
- if someone is sending out a signal of "Leave me alone!"... FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!

Now if you've got the first 2 phases down, and you think you're ready for #3... Love, leading to #4... Commitment, it's time to find out if you're seriously ready for some godly dating. Here's a few clues that you're not:
1.Quick to "Fall" in love - it's not just a feeling, it's a decision
2.Can't "Just Be Friends" - have to build on friendship (if you go out and break up, will you still be friends?)
3.Always "Need" a Girlfriend - only God can complete and fulfill you, it's unfair to put that pressure on a girl.
4.Only Spend Time With Each Other, Ignore Friends - need individuality... independence as well as dependence
5.Every Time You're With Them, It Gets Physical - back off completely or take a break
6.View Everyone of Opposite Sex as a Possible Girlfriend - this isn't saying you can't find someone attractive
7.No Direction in Your Own Life - need your own direction first, so you can see if she's going where you are or not
8.Never Think of Marriage - purpose of a Christian dating is eventually marriage
9.Haven't Set Standards - set standards, write them out, have them ready in advance, don't just try to figure them out as you go (from my own experience I can tell you this is really helpful!)

If you are ready... GO FOR IT!
- keep in step with God, every step of the way
- BE YOURSELF... don't be phony, it's a huge turnoff... either now or later

*When you find that one girl, COMMIT to love her forever. Don't play around. Do it God's way... the manly way.